Locked myself out of the house this morning. That jingle in my coat pocket was not keys, but loose change. This is why I clip the keys to my belt loop. It is to prevent Tragedy. Absentminded, they say. <\/p>\n
It was a cold morning pissing with rain. Frigid. The day also featured playful gusts of wet, wet, wind – cruel like the whims of a child. <\/p>\n
Very bracing weather. Such weather makes Men. <\/p>\n
Fortunately I had Bruce, my landlord, on my cell phone’s speed dial. I stood stolidly on the porch, ignoring the elements like the neanderthal brute that I am. Eventually some toady of his showed up in a lined parka and opened the door. Our Hero was saved.<\/p>\n
This, while not the optimal human circumstance, was a lot better than many human circumstances and did after all last only 20 minutes. And I was not naked. <\/p>\n
I drove on to Starbucks where I consumed 20 ounces of coffee in 10 minutes and thereafter effectively joined the human race. I’ve been part of it for the rest of the day. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Locked myself out of the house this morning. That jingle in my coat pocket was not keys, but loose change. This is why I clip the keys to my belt loop. It is to prevent Tragedy. Absentminded, they say. It was a cold morning pissing with rain. Frigid. The day also featured playful gusts of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n