Today when I went to the library, I expected the usual smackdown regarding my fines.

Imagine my surprise when the computerized library system, as well as the humanoid library worker, offered me a new library card instead.

I graciously accepted.

The humanoid library worker then took away my old card and informed me that I still have $6.41 in fines which I can pay at any time.

“I suspected as much,” I replied, with a measure of despair tempered by bravado.