Sometimes I long to call up Nextel with inane questions in an effort to drive their customer service personnel as crazy as they drive me.

Consider the following conversation which is:

Real. Holy. Sincere.

Real. Holy. Sincere. conversation follows

Me: I’d like to add the free nights and weekends starting at 7?
CSR: IT’S NOT FREE IT IS FIVE DOLLARS
Me: Oh… well, I saw on the website that it was free and if you wanted to have nights and weekends start at 5 then that was five extra dollars.
CSR: THERE IS NO NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS STARTING AT FIVE PM ONLY SIX OR SEVEN IT DEPENDS ON THE PLAN
Me: On the website it said 5… I thought…
CSR: I’M GONNA PUT YOU ON HOLD
Me: Okay.
Time passes
CSR: (accusingly) IT SAYS HERE YOUR NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS START AT 9 PM.
Me: I know that, I’m trying to get it to start at 7 which I thought was free- according to the information on your website.
CSR: NO!!! IT IS FIVE DOLLARS.
Me: Okay. I’m not going to make the change at this time.
CSR: THANK YOU FOR CALLING SPRINT WE TRULY VALUE YOUR BUSINESS

Where do they find these people? Even when I worked in phone customer service I wasn’t this bloody-minded*.

But if we can have this kind of fun with real questions, just imagine the amount of fun we can have with really dippy made up ones. About the intricacies of phone plans.

I’m sure it takes a special kind of person to call up these poor fools just in order to harass them.

A me kind of person. A me kind of special.

*a rare instance when the Britishism is the only word that really fits