Have you ever noticed that “workstation” is almost the same word as “worksatan”?

Coincidence?

At least you aren’t a dead male stripper, right?

So you wake up. And you’re like Aargh. Why do I feel like I was hit by a truck. So then you struggle through the whole shower/tooth brushing/yowling furious cat morning bathroom routine before proceeding to the hopeless cause of getting dressed. After staring at the hideous array of work appropriate attire, by which we mean jeans that aren’t too faded/grubby and a collection of bedraggled polo shirts, you put on a moderately clean shirt and you think Where did I get this shirt anyway and then you think I have had this ugly ass shirt 6 years and I wear it once a week. It’s not a cool shirt or a good shirt, it’s a shirt from Old Navy that came with several other shirts for a total of $15.

So then you come to work and you are trying to make a photocopy and some jackass has left the copy machine set to 3 so you quickly have 4000 copies and then you are squatting on the floor trying to sort out the mess, muttering about the injustice and there’s a meeting in 20 minutes and you’re still in the ugly shirt and it’s just too much to take.

She has pretty good skin, judging from her album covers – Julia Mays, KMS in CKM, IT, AISB, VT.

So you are standing in the dank shower facility in the office, having just discovered that you did not bring a towel. You’ve just been running. There is a meeting in ten minutes. What do you do? WHAT do you do?

Answer: Shower anyway and then flash your coworker while dancing around on one foot, trying to dry off with your sweaty shirt, and then discover you also didn’t bring any clean underwear, a comb, or deodorant.

Dixie Chicks- Taking the Long Way Home. On song 5, so far it’s unremarkable. I’m going to have to switch back to Laundry Service.

I kept expecting Kevin Bacon to show up in this movie, but he never did. Still I enjoyed Will Smith as Compulsive Liar Male Hussy Number 1.

Tart by Jody Gherhman

The first question is, why was I reading Tart in the first place? Answer: I read a lot. The Blacksburg public library and the Virginia Tech library have a collectively terrible selection of new novels. I guess if I was on top of things, I’d use inter library loan and get something I actually want to read. But I’m not. So there you are.

So I picked up Tart, which is a genre of books I actually like a lot- fluff directed at women, I don’t know if it is for despondent housewives or single thirtysomethings or adolescents or what. Books like Bridget Jones Diary. I like them. They make me laugh.

“Judy Gehrman teaches writing at Mendocino College.” It shows. The writing is smooth and well-edited. Bad writing and bad editing are usually my peeves.

The problem with this book is that the protagonist does not really add up to a ‘real’ character. She is a sort of California-Everywoman, sexually liberated, from a divorce-remarry-divorce household, latte drinking, cool without trying, a good dancer. She’s an appealing character, but she’s got the emotional depth of a puddle. I don’t know why California-Everywoman is a cliche who makes me want to scream, whereas a Hiaasen-Everyman is just a vehicle for an amusing nonsense-plot. That’s the point of this book, after all, it’s just to amuse. Is it sexism? I don’t know.

The other big problem here is a hackneyed plot. 2 of the more original plot twists are explained on the back of the book. The other plot twist is so terrible and obvious we will not speak of it. It might have worked in Pride and Prejudice, but it doesn’t work here. As I was reading I was thinking “OH NO!!! She can’t be going to pull THIS ONE!!!” But then she did.

So the point of this meandering post is I enjoyed Tart but it wasn’t profound? It’s not like I thought it was going to be. If you enjoy this genre of book, you’ll probably like this one. Flaws aside, it was pretty funny and engaging.

Discernible product placement: none
Weird White Outfits: several

The household is in turmoil, Shakira overload. In addition to Donde Estan los Ladrones, which has been playing nonstop for the past two months, Fijacion Oral and Laundry Service have entered rotation. Our big question is why is Ojos Asi/ Eyes Like Yours on two of these albums when it is easily the most obnoxious song ever?

Moving along from there, here is the much awaited list of product placement in Friends With Money, which is one of those slice-of-life movies and a pretty typical example of the genre and which should have been good with both Jennifer Aniston and more importantly Joan Cusack in it, but it sucked.

Product Placement:

Old Navy
Apple Computer (17″ Powerbooks)
Lancome
Chanel
Bloomingdales
pot
Honda
BMW
Ben & Jerry’s
Jeep
7-11

Bad css

Peeve: someone who is always saying how broke they are

hello, everyone. I love myself. I just thought you should know.

Back from Vancouver. The office is full of the usual striding men in shorts. Ken and Jeff both look like they have been hit by trucks. It is still 20 degrees in here.

Times listened to Donde estan los ladrones this morning: 2

Times filled with despair re: impossibility of job: 1 but ongoing. Well that sounds like an admission of weakness, but it’s not.

Considering sitting on hands to prevent self from picking at cold sore. Yech. Should not be allowed to leave the house.