Blacksburg, Virginia. 10:20 AM. Sunday.

An ordinary sunny Sunday in Virginia? At first it seems that way. But beneath the quiet facade of this apartment complex lurks a story of heartbreak and loss. Loss of love- and loss of sanity and peace for the neighbors.

A second floor apartment. All is well, it seems. Multiple dogs and cats loll on the furniture, while human beings sit on the floor, unable to move them. At 7 AM, the peace is shattered. The music starts. The pianist downstairs has broken up, it seems, with her cello-playing boyfriend.

For nearly two years she has enjoyed many a duet with this man. But alas. No more. She has nothing in her life but practice.

In her grief, she branches out musically, producing:

– Bach at 2 AM
– voice arias
– violin
– lots and lots of piano and voice excercises
– this morning, the recorder. Accompanied by something that might be a dulcimer but in any case, a stringed instrument she is banging on mercilessly.

The news team has taken a defensive position in the spare bedroom where it is quieter.

I will continue reporting on this groundbreaking story of personal loss and personal expression through musical pollution as details become available.

And now back to the studio. Katie?

I’m watching.

A couple days ago I bought 32 pounds of paint. Online from Dick Blick.

Maimeri Classico student grade oils, to be exact. I’ve never used this brand but the website claims it “spreads like butter.” Sounds good. And it’s cheap. Sounds good too.

I don’t have much experience with student grade paint. Like many art snobs, I’ve mostly used the expensive stuff. But this seems like a time to economize and avoid going broke. If possible. Since I’ve just switched to part-time at work. Etc, etc.

According to art teachers of ages past, I can expect my work to look cheap if I use cheap paint. I’m prepared for this. According to the same logic, I can also expect it to look Italian if I use Italian paint. Michelangelo was Italian, so I think we are coming out in the wash.

I would tend to measure paint in tubes, about 20, or dollars, about $300, but FedEx measures it in pounds.

32 pounds in weight, or 152.34 Pounds Sterling.

But I digress.

Following my own tradition of combining much-desired online purchases with holiday weekends, criminal impatience, and obsessive-compulsive FedEx tracking, I note that my paint is no longer in the Dick Blick shipping facility and is now in:

Paint Location X!!!

Moline, Illinois: 2:23 PM 9/1

And so begins the torturous journey of the paint across the great state of Illinois

Champaign, Illinois: 9:48 PM 9/1

And now the intrepid paint arrives on the east coast

Charlotte, North Carolina: 9:42 PM 9/5

And now the paint is tantalizingly nearby

Radford, Virginia: 6:07 AM 9/6

And now the begins the online madness of watching the paint be driven to the house when nobody is there, then to arrive at the FedEx facility to find the truck has just left

Radford, Virginia: 7:49 AM 9/6 On FedEx vehicle for delivery

Stay tuned for updates to this gripping story as they become available.

Why did they store salt in the Palazzo Pubblico in Siena?

I still don’t know the answer to this question, but here are some hypotheses:

-day-to-day government activities involved the use of large amounts of salt
-why get a warehouse when you already have a Palazzo?
-they planned to move it but got lazy
-conveniently close to Palazzo Snack Bar
-to get to the other side
-forty-two

What are we going to do now?

Hot: Lucius Malfoy (very)
Not: Severus Snape (very)
Hot (Redhead): Lindsay Lohan, Me (not strictly part of the movie)
Not (Redhead): Ginny Weasley, Professor McGonagall, Harry’s Mom, Ron, Percy, OK the entire Weasley Family
Hot: Harry’s cable knit sweaters
Not: Professor Dumbledore’s Beard
Hot: Philosopher’s Stone
Not: Sorcerer’s Stone
Misc:
Bad Dye Job: Ginny Weasley
Really Really Really Really Bad Dye Job: Draco Malfoy
Hot: Goethe
Not: Disney

And now for a cutting-edge review of Gaslight.

Good movie. Made in 1944 but set when? 1890’s? 1910’s? No WWII themes. Old-fashioned costumes. Overall it was one of those movies that maintained suspense even though reading the netflix sleeve, you knew pretty much what was going to happen. Ingrid Bergman was frightening as the beaten-down wife. Her performance rang true. We’ve all been there… a prisoner in our own homes, mental torture, etc.

I think the best part was that the slutty cockney maid was played by Angela Lansbury.

When you start painting portraits of the cat.

Mom’s looking for a job. She’s got an interview today.

Here’s what she has to say about it:

“I asked Susan (her sister) for some examples of questions she thought they might ask and she said she wasn’t able to be of much help because when she is interviewing teachers she really wants to know if they can tolerate having snot wiped on their leg or having their shoes vomited on. Actually I think those questions would be a lot more interesting than being asked about your work history and about what kind of computer software you can use.

Gotta run. I want to read over my resume so I can remember what I have told them I have done in the past and make sure I didn’t bs too much.

Have a great day. Love, MOMMA”

-to occasionally pick up the soft scrub? And do something with it?
-to throw away the package the new shower head came in?
-to throw away the old shower head? I think I installed the shower head in October, and it is now June.

They say we have lost our reflexes since we don’t spend our days being chased by hungry tigers and what not.

But I have reflexes the cave men never had, such as turning off my ipod when I am getting out of the car. It is one fluid, automatic, beautiful integrated motion. I’d like to see a cave man do THAT while running away from a tiger.

Q: Why would you put your house up for sale at 80% of its apparent market value?
A: There is no good answer. Because you have less time than brains?